just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
