I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
