Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
where are my eyebrows?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
