Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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