playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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