the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
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