Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
