Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
