who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
