it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
So many bounce houses so little time
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
