I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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