she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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