DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
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