he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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