you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
