Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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