he shaved USA in his pubs
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You left your phone here
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