Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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