Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
