Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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