I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
