Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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