I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
