I am puke
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
