peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
