I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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