I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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