You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
