I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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