We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
