She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
