Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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