His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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