Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
