woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
