Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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