Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
