after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
