after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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