ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
