is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
