I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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