I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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