Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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