You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
