I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
