I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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