I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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