I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
