I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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