dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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